The Tequila Den

Combines the world of Tequila with Games.

Tag Archives: frustration

I’m the best procrastinator…

Most days I come home, grab a beverage from the fridge and plop myself up on the couch and recline my feet. I need to have more drive in my life. More goals. There is one thing I know I want in my life and that is a house, a real house. One with a garage.

I recently built a set of permanent shelves in a place where a door used to be and I really enjoy wood working except the fact that all the necessary tools are scattered about and I don’t have a pleasing workplace. It makes me frustrated and un-involved.

I also want a new truck.

I don’t really know for sure if I want to continue with my profession, it doesn’t make me happy. It makes my account happy, but doesn’t make me happy. I’m at a crossroads for sure. Frustrated.

I bring a lot of this indecisiveness to my ability to game-make as well. I used to have a set goal when I was working on anything Sphere related, I took the baby steps to accomplish a task. I saw a direction. I worked on a system that I didn’t have/needed or something that needed updating. I now just stare at a screen. Most recently, the lap top stays closed, sometimes days on end.

At a peak of frustration, trying to find the proper motivation.

Dream, dream bigger.

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Tick, tick, boom…

I’m not sure what it is… I sit on the couch nearly everyday and usually at some time in the night/day I’ll pop open my lap top and make my way to notepad++ and sphere. I’ll just stare at it, read a little bit, test a game, and just … piss around. I won’t actually progress at all. I’m daunted by what I got to do. I’m at the point where I need to do art and I literally hate it. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll basically just start editing current available tiles from other games and in term, hopefully piece something together. But I have no desire to do it.

I’m frustrated and I’m losing motivation. The worst part is that I decided to start combing through some of the code and altering some of the dialogue behavior, then I broke it. And I’m mad, and well grr…

Yea, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I’m just frustrated.

It’s official… I’m lazy as fuck.

CaDClXiWwAEnjko

This pretty much sums it up.

Between Netflix and playing Final Fantasy VII on my laptop, I haven’t really done anything. I think I’ve even went into reverse mode. I figured I should start mapping areas, before I map anything I need to create tiles. So I made a few (read: little) tiles of bookcases and a little bit of flooring then I went to tackle walls. That’s when destruction mode came about.

I went back to a small bit of intro I had created and checked out what style I was doing for the walls as I was going to a bit of a hybrid between Legend of Zelda and …. something completely different. I ┬álove LoZ’s style because I like seeing all four borders and makes some technical challenges a bit easier. I also find it relatively hard to replicate it (and made it look anything decent) without reverting to a 8-bit graphic style. It just never looks right. With that said, I ended up pissing around trying to make it proper again. But failed. Got frustrated. Quit.

So, instead, I’m playing FF7. I’ve beat the game numerous times but I never really bothered with getting everything, limit breaks, the American weapons and all the enemy skills, let alone mastering all the materia. But wow, have I poured time into the game. I nearly have everything mastered and only missing a couple Level 4 limit breaks. I’m a turd. Tell me to get back to Mouse.

Lot of lines…

I was meandering through some old projects and some old code thinking it’d help throw up some motivation. It made me want to re-write a few things. I was skimming through Canasta mainly and really thought it was terrible. I left it alone for the time being. Regardless, I started it up and wanted to see what it could do. Then I had to turn it off.

I forgot the controls. I put in a bunch of hot-keys to mimic certain actions to ease the game-play for the user and make it a lot more friendly, or so I thought. I don’t even recall wiring ‘D’ for discarding. Then I had to figure out how the ‘W’ key worked.

I figure I’ve wrote over 6000 lines of code in the two projects, Canasta & Traders, and both of which lay dormant. I’ll finish, one day or another… I’ll finish… something.