April 29, 2019
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Most days I come home, grab a beverage from the fridge and plop myself up on the couch and recline my feet. I need to have more drive in my life. More goals. There is one thing I know I want in my life and that is a house, a real house. One with a garage.
I recently built a set of permanent shelves in a place where a door used to be and I really enjoy wood working except the fact that all the necessary tools are scattered about and I don’t have a pleasing workplace. It makes me frustrated and un-involved.
I also want a new truck.
I don’t really know for sure if I want to continue with my profession, it doesn’t make me happy. It makes my account happy, but doesn’t make me happy. I’m at a crossroads for sure. Frustrated.
I bring a lot of this indecisiveness to my ability to game-make as well. I used to have a set goal when I was working on anything Sphere related, I took the baby steps to accomplish a task. I saw a direction. I worked on a system that I didn’t have/needed or something that needed updating. I now just stare at a screen. Most recently, the lap top stays closed, sometimes days on end.
At a peak of frustration, trying to find the proper motivation.
Dream, dream bigger.