Starring into the screen….
September 27, 2017
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I can’t even count how many times I’ve fired up the computer to just simply look at the desktop. I’ve literally got nearly zero motivation to really accomplish much of anything. It’s quite tragic. I’ve thought about rambling off about a few topics to sneak up a couple of articles, but to no avail (obviously). I’ve even scratched down a few ideas on my phone as to game ideas, certain story points, lists for this and that, but, that’s where they’ve stayed. I’m really fearing that my time as a “game developer” may be drawing to a simple, unfinished end. That terrifies me. What happened to that drive? Is it really all of my indecisiveness that has caused this? Could I be that fucking lazy? Possible fear of rejection?
I think it is because I see it as a huge daunting undertaking. And that is a brutal thought. I get the same feeling when I start to read a book. I see all the pages and I go… eww… no. Same thing happens when I start up with the NHL series on xBox, (NHL 18 this time around,) I always think of starting a new Be a Pro or franchise mode and go… 82 games… yikes. No thanks.
So does it simply come down to time?
I’ve made time before. I can simply find time to do this. I know I can. I literally sit on the couch for 4-5 a night doing nothing but watch TV. Stop being a lazy ass.